Fast forward 10 years... The long awaited puppy! - The whole story.

We have discussed and considered when the right time to get a dog would be for YEARS!  We've moved a lot and our most recent 7 years in California with the high cost of living forced us to rent which made it difficult to find many places that would allow our family, two cats and a potential dog that we could afford.  Our recent move to Washington, where we can more easily afford to live and hope to put down some roots finally, has opened us up to finally getting a dog.  The challenge is, if we want our oldest, Holly, to have the experience with a dog before she leave the house, we can't wait until Calla, who is 17 months old to get a few years older when things will be easier.  We've heard, getting a puppy and having a toddler may not be the best situation BUT somehow in our crazed minds we decided to take the plunge. 

It started months ago when Brad realized we could actually get a dog.  He grew up always having a dog and has always really wanted one.  Me, on the other hand, had two dogs but only one I can really remember and he was an outside only dog that we ended up needing to re home due to not being able to give him the fair attention he needs as we got older.  Anyway, Brad started, or should I say continued scanning craigslist and emailing puppy ads to me.  I usually just ignore them but for some reason I grew soft in the last few months.  He would text me when there was one he thought I might really like.  It became this thing where I was just going about my day and then I'd get a text and if the puppy looked interesting to me I would email or call about it, sending us on this roller coaster of discovery and contemplation.  There were three puppies that stood out to me over a period of about six weeks.  We were either too late or had some misgivings that ended up causing us to back down.  

Then on January 17, 2020 I get an email, text and then a call from Brad who says "I think this could be the one!"  I looked at the pictures and the puppies were pretty cute and had a lot of qualities we had been looking for so it started again.  To make a long story short, we decided to go "see" the puppies to just check them out.  I knew it was kind of like going into a candy shop and not coming out with some candy, nearly impossible.  BUT, for some reason, I arranged it and went anyway.  We picked a puppy and planned to get him the next day which gave us a night to sleep on it.  I have to say, I woke up in the morning with cold feet.  I was thinking of all the reasons why we shouldn't do this right now.  Calla was already at a very busy age, the older kids were busy enough, maybe the money wasn't best spent right now, I'm currently taking a class at BYUI and Brad and I are doing a special eating plan right now to improve our health which means we are trying new recipes and plan every meal and snack we eat.  I expressed my concerns to the kids and thought maybe we should back out.  I was met with pleads and promises of doing this or that and waking up in the night with the puppy which I refused to do.  I did my time nursing all our babies.  I've earned my sleep now.  We paused a moment that morning and decided we basically had already made the decision and we ought to give it a try and if it didn't work out then we thought he was cute enough we could still find a good home for him.

Not even two weeks into it, I've threatened many times to get rid of him as my life now revolves around what appears to be a cute little loving puppy.  Who actually has a dark side.  Really, it's probably all normal puppy behavior and he's most likely a good dog.  Though to put it simply, I thoroughly underestimated just how hard it is to take care of a puppy and work at training him so he will one day be a dog we enjoy in addition to my other responsibilities.  After, some ankle biting, peeing on the floor right before we try to take him out and only 20 minutes after the last time we took him out, then trying to keep Calla from stepping in it, discovering worms in his poop and standing out in the rain while he finds the right spot to go to the bathroom and looking into the house to see Calla watching us and holding a red permanent marker; I feel a little less into the idea of having a puppy.  My chapped and bleeding hands from puppy biting and regular hand washing between, puppy, baby and meal prepping are feeling the reality of what we got ourselves into.  To say I have regret is an understatement.  I felt kind of like the song in Annie called "Dumb dog" yesterday.   

I even prepared an ad in Craigslist last night but couldn't bring myself to post it.  I was only barely able to look at my homework in the last couple days and am now sitting in my driveway while the puppy is sleeping in his crate and Calla is still happily strapped in her car seat after getting back from taking Holly to the orthodontist typing this post.  I have had some good days sprinkled in with a majority of discouraging days.  On my good days I feel a kind of high that I'm able to do it accompanied by loads of exhaustion but on the bad days...  I threaten to find him a new home and vent venomously about him to my family along with expressing frustration about their arguing and complaining about whose turn it is to have puppy duty with a puppy with sharp teeth and tons of energy at all the wrong times.  

It has all made me think of an analogy.  Puppies are like Satan.  They look cute and make you want to have them but once you get to cuddling up with one, they sink their razor teeth into you until you have regret.  Maybe that's a little extreme but don't put it past me using it as an analogy in a Family Home Evening one day.  For now, I'm currently looking for an emotional support group for first time puppy owners and taking one day at a time.